THE GUILT OF SELF DENIAL

Habits can be formed at any level, even daily routines can in some cases become habitual and when circumstances dictate change it throws the whole of the body and mind into a wobbly, not starting out right for some mentally upsets the day, such is the power of our little minds. Our attitude towards life will dictate how we are going to go forward or reside forever in a stasis of mediocrity whilst forever complaining about things not happening or moving forward, but at the end of the day, just cutting to the quick and eradicating the self created sob stories, it’s only us who can change who we are no one else, regardless of circumstances. There is no such thing as being disadvantaged although things can be unfair, but then where in life is there anything written to say that life is fair – there isn’t, we are born into a world just the way it is and reside in it just the way things are. We have, excluding Islamic countries, opportunities to do what we want and go where we please, such is the base of freedom, although freedom has a price to pay also, but less than a society dictated to by endless rules and regulations telling you what you can and can’t do. We are all different as people, some are gregarious and some are just “stick in the mud” type of people, but that’s all down to us, and society, life and opportunity don’t give a dam as to which one we reflect or practise, it’s up to us to go fishing for what’s out there, nothing will jump out of the water on to our table. The complexity of how we live our lives is formed by our character, regardless of our educational aptitudes and abilities, nerds can become billionaires today, and those of old who have the gift of the gab can still be seen doing the rounds residing in their self knowledge that they are the bee knees, whereas they are quite hum drum in reality, even if what they have to say is spot on, they just don’t have it within them to break that ‘glass ceiling’ of self created thought, even if the mind waxes lyrical and has visions of greater things, the outcome doesn’t cut the mustard.

Many get into a state of routine, knowledge, status, contacts, etc, and live within that framework, not often venturing out of it or if they do quickly fall back to where they were before as nothing really takes a hold and progresses to a super level rarely materialises, and if it does it’s only fleeting. Arrogance, degrees of smugness, “old boys” attitudes with regards one’s peers, all have the effect of dampening the way forward even if a good living is made out of what they do, it all somehow resides in an elliptical mode touching a lot of ‘sameness’ and moving on like the moon orbiting the earth, the effect it has on earth is substantial, but nothing new, and many people are like that in life seeking elevation out of their devised orbit but never have the ability to pull away from the gravitational force which others seem to do and rise to dizzy heights or just higher elevations. As times ticks by many take refuge in maturity in that they have lost that youthful urge to become whatever it was in life, and time has melded attitudes and just being comfortable in life becomes the new mode of forward thinking. Frustration, lack of drive, self confidence, the endless making up of excuses, the making up of endless obstacles, the making up of anything to thwart the feeling that failure or lack of self is the real cause for not moving forward. Where real entrepreneurs just thrive on the ability within to “Go” not relying on social networks and other such “Tupperware” or “Janet Reager” parties to try and move forward with help from a flock of people who are all in the same boat of mediocraty. Guilt of the self is not uncommon no matter how it is manifested, evading reality or not confronting the real causes and eternally trying often strikes a more cordial and progressive note within, but it boils down to the same thing, status quo, zilch.

There is only one thing holding us back and that’s ourselves, if we died life would carry on without us, so our self built importance wanes in such thoughts, moving forward rambling aimlessly about how it isn’t or should be or hasn’t been or whatever smacks of a sterile thought process where the needle has got stuck un the groove, we can’t move forward with regrets. Guilt, regrets and depression go hand in hand like a gin and tonic and a slice of lemon, it all fits together, but unlike a G&T the former isn’t a quick refreshing experience it’s a trail of twilight wanderings that make life a toil as opposed to a pleasure. Whatever is out there for us it’s down to us to make it work, and whether our pursuits take days, weeks, months years – like many scientists have had to encounter – success equates to staying power nothing more, if we move forward with doubt then we should give up right now otherwise what is the purpose. But the last thing we should do is deny ourselves any opportunities based upon others thoughts or circumstances, others thoughts are just that and circumstances can change overnight, so we have to be firm in our forward direction to allow ourselves the ability to proceed at all costs, and that momentum eventually breaks the glass ceilings and man made barriers that only reside in our thoughts even if others try to implement them for their purpose, but to  no avail. The pathway at times can be lonely but there again it’s better that way than carrying the baggage of unbelievers which is a heavy and wasteful burden in itself.    

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

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