Archive for the ‘LONELINESS’ Category


Thursday, August 12th, 2010

Loneliness can almost be an illness in itself, the mental pressures brought about by the inability to commune with fellow man are quite severe and the psychological aspect of all of this wears very heavy in the mind. With bottled up thoughts, lack of reciprocal feelings for or with others, no camaraderie, no personal private love, no laughter, no banter of the mundane to the ridiculous, in short the nothingness of life alters the mind state to an extent that mind talk is the only option left in which to talk at all. People need people, even the private and almost reclusive need people, it’s a natural trait and instinct, people who are ostracised feel it deep down, people who seemingly can’t communicate well fall into a trough of an inner world and often lose the plot. Living with loneliness can almost be a job of work on its own, where the mind reasons with itself about the isolation and the hypothetical scenarios it throws up because there’s nothing else there to take its place. Even the most gregarious can be lonely, whereas those that appear soft and quiet can have a real following of deep and loyal friends who provide great comfort and presence in life. Judging from afar is a fools game and being judgmental based upon the facade in front of us possibly sums up who we are too as a person and what our own metal is made of.

Ironically we can be in the middle of a loving and warm and fun family, we can have a great best friend or mate and we can genuinely have good acquaintances around us that do care about us from a humanitarian point of view, yet deep down we are lonely, often to the extent we want to cry, we feel lost, cold, shivvering, and see those around us like ants milling around as we are cocooned in a gossamer thin bubble that just isolates us from that fresh air and zing of life itself. It can be lonely, it can be taxing and if we have any creativity it can be like being captivated within our own world forever seeking the “exit” sign taking us back into the mainstream of life where all will all of a sudden be well again, and we will be part of the bigger picture – whatever that is. But it will never happen as it’s only a mind thought and an excuse as to not finding the real solution and coming to terms with how we feel and why.

Loneliness for many is a self devised way of life, never to be admited as such, but it’s true, and one only has to see real lonely people to understand why they are as they are, which of course they can’t see themselves. There are degrees of loneliness, there is circumstantial loneliness where one is thrown into an areas of life where for example age takes it’s toll on family and friends die off and health recedes and one is left with little option than to make the best of an inactive life with few if any of one’s counterparts to share what time one has left, but that’s circumstantial. For the vast majority loneliness is self inflicted, where the endless excuses, selfishness, self centred, mean, deliberate and idealistic thoughts take their toll and plunge life into a pit whereby life always seems thwarted by some obstacle that’s of ‘mental conjecture’ and if it wasn’t that it would be something else. The lonely unfortunately have their own “time stamp” and character, even if from the outside they laugh, dance the night away, meet n’ greet others with consummate ease, then when it’s all over slump back into a mind set of the gossamer bubble and wonder when it will all change and their heart will be filled with joy, happiness and a list of other positive thoughts which currently register “void” on the inner check list. Where melancholy reigns and tears of some description are yet again clouding watering eyes as the mind drifts into yet another spasm of mild depression and consternation.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010