It’s good to have friends, real friends not acquaintances or weird associates that each other tags on to because they have nothing better to do or nowhere else to go to. Real friends are not just people one can talk to on occasions, real friends you can do almost anything with and say anything to (that’s good) because they know you and love you, they respect you and know your little foibles and bad habits and despite all you both get on like a house on fire. Many people call acquaintances friends, but they are still acquaintances and they can’t phone them or call on them anytime, everything has to be orderly or pre-arranged or done at certain times, etc, but no matter, it’s your life and you can call whoever you like a friend, it’s you that has to associate with them not others.
We go on holiday, to parties, out to dinner with friends of friends, we get caught in delays in the airport, we meet new people at work, we see new people at conventions and conferences and sometimes romances spring up too. And on occasions we really do find someone who from that split second meeting we get on with where there is a feeling and an empathy that makes us act kindly towards them. Of course we can get confused by infatuation but that dies down after about two weeks when we find out that what we thought of that person isn’t that good after all and their other little faults or those first gushes of communication suddenly die down to almost monosyllabic sentences of empty content. Like holiday romances situations often have a lot to do with how we feel or if someone has gone through an identical scenario it feels good to talk openly about it and even laugh at it together just comparing notes. But alas that also dies down, we can’t live in the past and tomorrow has to hold more than today for if it doesn’t we stagnate and life slowly starts to be irksome.
It’s good to associate with people, but keeping yourself to yourself smacks of narrowness, selfishness and a lack of ability to communicate, it says a great deal about you to have very few people associating with you and it gives rise to a state of mind that’s dull and inconclusive in how it thinks and feels about life and those in it, it’s often burdensome and pathetic. The human condition is about getting along with others, it’s accepting who’s who and what’s what not according to ourselves but to that person in particular, and in the same way they likewise see us in that same light. Our ability to communicate is is essential if we are to get the best out of life, if we are to make any degree of headway and enjoy life for what it is and not what we think it should be. People elevate our lives, give us purpose and grit and phlegm and stance, if we have no one we are but androids living for the sake of living and awaiting death from a hollow existence.
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010